*WHEEZING*

WHEW!!!
What a crazy week its been for us. Or rather, what a crazy summer! I feel horrible i haven't updated and posted pictures more regularly, but we've been on the go non stop this whole summer. We've traveled alot, and have another trip planned soon too!lol
I have TONS of stories and TONS of pictures to post. Ill get to it, just be patient. My life will only be getting more crazy through October.

Today, my baby turned 7!!! I cant believe we are in this stage of our lives. Shes so old now, shes so big, shes so *HER*.lol I love her, adore her, cherish her, and cant get enough of her. Time is passing far too fast, i want her to go back to being a wee one. I miss it horribly, i wish i did a better job at remembering things, because now that shes such a big kid, i really have to work hard and put alot of energy into just remembering that time in our lives.
In some aspects ALOT has changed, in others, we are still the same.

As i sit and type this, my daughter is snoozing away in her bed after a long day of celebrating, of school, of having fun, of having tons of family time, and just being a kid. Hopefully shell sleep in tomorrow!lol
My husband, oh that man!!! He still makes my heart flutter and jump like it did when we first met. I cant imagine doing this parent thing without him, hes my rock. Hes peacefully and *finally* able to get a good nights rest. In the last 36+ hours hes averaged 4 hours of sleep. Hes so dead tired, but making sure Klaire had a good and fun day was more important, hes the most selfless person i know, or that ive ever known. Hes an amazing person! I admire him greatly.

I cant help but get a little weepy today, ive been fighting back tears all.day.long.
My life. My goodness! Its such a rich and full life! I cant believe what i have before me!! It amazes me, it shocks my system, it takes me breathe away, i cant help but be humbly grateful to God for giving me what i have today. I have an amazing husband, a true miracle child, and a pretty great home life.

7 years ago, like tonight, Kreg was passed out after enduring 22+ hours of labor and birth with me. We had only been married for 2 months and 8 days!lol GAH!!!! What were we doing??!!! ;)
He was a trooper, never left my side unless to take a few short 5 minute breaks. We were faced with so many obstacles, so many major decisions as husband and wife, and impending parents. And guess what?! We made the right decisions, we were OK, we survived!

I can remember thinking over in my head "Am i really ready for this?!", "WHAT AM I DOING?!", "Can i be a good mom and wife?!". Our lives were such an open book at that point, things really could have gone any which way.

As i watched him sleep, i held my baby daughter in my arms. Crying that the pregnancy was over, but relieved that her birthing ordeal was over. Unsure of was coming ahead of us, and weary from the last 48 hours of events.
I stared into her face, taking in her smell, her facial expressions, her little sucking noises, her grunts, and the way she moved. When i tucked her in tonight i was looking back at the same wee little baby i was holding 7 years ago. She had the same smell, the same look on her face. She was and is such a marvelous little being!

Even before she was born, she had such a driving and magnificent force in both of our lives, she brought us together, she made us mature, she taught us so much about life and its unpredictability! She was amazing then, and shes just gotten more amazing since.
As i sat there and held her i prayed to God that i could be a good mom, that i wouldn't relapse, that i would be a good wife, that we would make god decisions , and that i could do everything that everyone expected me to do. I prayed that He would keep us all healthy and thanked Him for all that He had given me in the last 9 months. I held her so very tight that night, and kept her no farther than arms reach away, something changed inside of me. I wanted to stay in that moment for the rest of my life, i wish so badly that i could go back and be in that moment again, it was so precious and sacred!!

I remember holding her the next morning, it was just Kreg and i and her, this was my new life, this was the family that he and i created together, this was what it was all about from then on. We did our best to teach each other what we remembered about baby care. We tried to put all those books we had read to good use.lol I remember thinking how inadequate i was, and thinking that i just wasn't equipped to be this child's mom. But when i looked at her, my heart grew 10 fold each time. It was all for her, it always has been, it always will be.

Kreg has been an amazing dad. Klaire *ADORES* the man, she thinks he walks on water, she is his little mini him.lol Over the years ive seen their relationship change, seen it grow, seen it strengthen, ive seen it blossom, and ive seen him adjust to her needs seemingly. Ive watched him become more comfortable in his role as "Dad", and hes such a natural at it.
I admire his patience with her, i love the looks i get from the both of them when i walk into the room and ruin a perfectly good episode of the "Simpson's". I love how the both laugh at the same stuff, how shes not more than 10 steps behind him, and i love how they look at each other and exchange how much they love one another. I pray dearly that that will continue over the years with them.

I cant believe shes 7. I just cant believe it! Where has this time gone?! I remember in the weeks following after we came home how Kreg and i would talk about the future. We talked about her being in 1st grade, and honestly, it felt like it was 100 years away, it felt like that day would never come. And yet....Here it is!!
Another thing we talked alot about was what kind of parents we wanted to strive to be, and i think we've stayed pretty close to that. Not knowing how "High Needs" she was going to be we had to change, we had to be the ones to adjust, and we did it. But she had something to teach us, and we definitely learned!lol
And now, as we talk about her being a teen and going off to college, i don't want that day to come.lol I mean, i do, but i don't. I want to see her go off and do her own thing, make her own path. But im not ready to let go of her, im not ready to send her off into the mean and harsh world. Her spirit is so sensitive, its so...so....Klaire.lol I want to protect her from whats out there. Shes still my little 6 lb. 6 oz. baby in my eyes.

But i know in the end, i cant keep her little forever. She has to go, she has to blossom into her own being, she has her own journey to make. Maybe my lap just needs to get a little bigger as she grows so i can still snuggle her, hold her, tickle her, teach her, whisper to her, help her, and read to her.
Its been a breathtaking 7 years. I cant believe im here, and we are OK. I hope the next 7 years are as great as the past. I hope and pray that we will see her transform into a stunning young lady. Shes one heck of a kid! We were the lucky ones to get her, im so thankful she chose *US* to be her parents.