{BITTERSWEET ENDINGS}

What a day.
So many emotions right now. As i type, im fighting back tears. Tears of happiness, and tears of sadness.
Summer has officially started now.
Today was the last day of school for my dear sweet babe. Shes now a 2nd grader. I have a 2nd grader. That's so crazy to me. 2nd grade.
Insane amounts of worry for next year are already hitting me.
2nd grade was when i started having phobias of school and people. I had a barely English speaking teacher who was incredibly mean to me.
Its also when my learning disabilities set in.
Its also when i started being physically ill at the prospect of having to go to school.
2nd grade was tough.
And i pray it will be better for my sweet Klaire. She deserves better.
I have high hopes.

For the first time in 7 years i had a chance to have 7 uninterrupted hours to myself. To do whatever i wanted. CUH-RAZINESS!!! Its every moms dream.lol
At first i had no idea what to do with myself, i had no idea how to function without my little buddy. I found myself wishing for the time to come to go and get her. As the year wore on, i got a job. Then i got another job. And then. Then it happened.
My back.
Our world was interrupted. I had to have back surgery again. All of our plans came to a screeching halt. All of our money had to be diverted to fund the surgery. All of our attention had to be focused on me getting the care i needed.
And during that time of worry and frustration. My daughter was amazing. She kept learning. Kept growing. Kept thriving. Kept reading. And kept happy.
That kid is amazing.
I think shes a superhero sometimes.

What a year.
So much learning.
So much running back and forth.
So much time there.
So much energy put into making her class a success.
So much time spent talking with the little kids.
So many hugs, scrapes, bruises, laughs, and accomplishments.
So many trips to the office to get band aids and ice packs to help hurt ego's on the playground.
So many trips to the store to ensure that her class had the supplies they needed.

And Oh!! The children saying "Hi Klaire's Mom!!" "Good Morning Klaire's Mom". They make my heart swell 10 fold.
Those kids. They are wonderful. Challenging, but wonderful.

But.....
The teachers.
They are simply the best. In every way.
Klaire has had 2 of the most amazing teachers ive come to know. I wish i had teachers like those.
But.
They have both left this year.
Its been utterly heartbreaking.
So many tears have been shed over those teachers departures. They are *THAT* good at what they do, and with the kids. They are incredibly compassionate, so loving, incredibly fun, and they take pride in their students education.
They are vested in it, they make sure each student is doing as they should be. These students have been like their own children.
You can see it in their eyes.
You can feel it in the positive notes home.
Every accomplishment my child has made i know her teacher has been as proud of her as we have.
Every tear has been lovingly and gently wiped away as i would do.
And every sassy moment has been met with a disapproving eye that would be exactly as she would get at home.

Her teacher has been an incredible blessing to us. In every way possible.
Not only for Klaire, but for me. She has helped and guided me, she has encouraged me to be a better mom and to help my child as she has needed. She has supported every effort i have made to help and teach Klaire. She has never once made me doubt my abilities in teaching Klaire.
Amazing. Her heart is made of gold.
Its people like her who should be teaching our students.
Its people like her that make school enjoyable for kids.

As i approached her classroom for the last time today i filled with sadness, and tears started streaming down my face.
That was the last time my daughter would be in her presence.
That was the last time she would give instruction and Klaire would willingly follow.
That was the last time for so many things. So many wonderful things came to an end today.
And it hit me, for the first time in months, that this would be the last time her and i could chit chat about the kids and the school.
I lost a dear dear dear friend. One whom i cherish and have grown to respect.

As i handed her the dozen roses and the pina colada cupcake, no words were spoke and we both began crying and hugging.
She told me that Klaire is incredibly special to her. And i told her she was incredibly special to us.
She told me that she wishes that she could have a classroom full of Klaires. And i told her that we wished there was a school of teachers like her.
She told me "Thank you for letting me teach your daughter." And i told her "Thank you for loving her, thank you for all of your hard work."
And we hugged again.
And we cried again.
And then it was time to go.
We met at the door. Tears came. Red faces came
And another long hug. Klaire gave her a brief hug and ran down the hall.
I wish Klaire knew the extent of whats going on.
But im kinda glad she doesn't. I don't want her to be sad over it. Just to be fond of the good year shes had with such an amazing person.

Its ironic in a sense.
I had fabulous kindergarten and first grade teachers as Klaire has had.
I pray that she will have a better second grade experience than what i had.

Bittersweet.
Bitter because im loosing a dear friend and Klaire's loosing an amazing person in her life.
But sweet because of whats to come for next fall. Sweet because now we can kick back and enjoy the summer. Sweet because of how far my kids come in her education.

I hope Klaire's teacher knows we love her and adore her.
I hope she has a good experience at her new school.
I hope we see her again.
I hope that she will remember my daughter.
I hope that other people can be touched as we have by her.
She's simple the best in every way.